The Kids Are Alright

Good news from America's public schools. They've heard enough from President Obama, or at least that's what one could ascertain from their underwhelming participation in this year's "Race to the Top Commencement Challenge". After students from more than a thousand schools applied to have the president speak at their commencement ceremony last year, a contest which was won by Kalamazoo Central High, the Obama administration was expecting record participation this time around. However, to date they have only received 68 applications, of which only 14 came in by the original February 25 deadline. If that's not a "let me be clear" message to the president from America's youth, I don't know what is. That's the problem with cults of personality and fickle teenage audiences. What was cool to your older sibling, usually ain't cool to you. Even Justin Bieber has a shelf life. Better go back to the drawing board on that indoctrination.

Exit Question: Could Barack Obama even win a student council race today?

Jeff Goldblum Is Dead (Or Is He?)

Just how real was the Jeff Goldblum story? So real that I heard it reported over the air on two Austin radio stations. And in Australia, a TV news station reported it as well. I'm assuming they didn't have time to put together a career retrospective, this "news" coming so quickly on the heels of Michael Jackson's passing.

While I have given up on Jon Stewart (his ideology has surpassed his humor), Stephen Colbert remains absurdly hilarious. He takes the fools who use twitter as a news source to task as he faux-reminisces about Jeff Goldblum's death while Jeff Goldblum shows up to correct him. As only Colbert can put it:

"Do you mind, Jeff Goldblum? I am reporting on the death of Jeff Goldblum."

Michael Jackson Is Dead (Or Is He?)

It didn't take the tweeters and facebook paparazzi long to throw Michael Jackson under the bus. Here CNN, FoxNews, NBC, ABC, Yahoo, the New York Times, even the LA Times were reporting Michael Jackson had just been taken to the hospital for cardiac arrest, and already the news was spreading like wildfire online that Michael Jackson had died.

Who reported it first? TMZ, your celebrity scoundrel news organization. One can hardly blame the major news outlets for holding back for further confirmation. What's another twenty minutes to get it right? That used to be called responsible journalism.

And maybe TMZ had already verified it through several sources. I don't know. What I do know is that all the people who took that one source and immediately blogged or tweeted or texted it, did so without a thought. They irresponsibly fed the rumor mill without questioning whether the news could be wrong, or what effect that might have on society, not to mention Michael Jackson's family.

Mark Twain once observed that "a lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes." And it wasn't but hours later that other celebrity deaths were falsely reported (Jeff Goldblum, not Farrah Fawcett) and it became difficult to sort out fact from fiction. What we had in essence was communication ruled by mob. The difference is that today's technology allows the lie to travel all the way around the world, multiplying information about the lie, while the truth gets buried under all the clutter with its shoelaces half-tied.

If information is power, misinformation is misuse of power. And that got me thinking. What if next time its more than a celebrity death? What if next time its about a flu pandemic? Or a terrorist attack or a nuclear bomb? And what if next time the tweets and texts are wrong?

Heck, what if they're wrong this time? What if Michael Jackson isn't dead? What if he's about to launch the greatest career comeback ever? Don't laugh. After all, Michael Jackson has a team of handlers and publicists who know who to manipulate the press. And email, texting, twitter, and facebook have only made it easier. Besides, haven't you heard that Elvis is still alive?

By dying, Michael Jackson has rehabilitated his image. He's no longer referred to as the skin-bleaching pedophile. He's no longer Wacko Jacko, the baby dangler. He's a once-in-a-millennium talent, the innovative dancer and MTV pioneer, the King of Pop. Artists are paying tribute to him everywhere. Even Congress honored him with a moment of silence. Meanwhile, plans for his funeral have been described as secretive and elaborate, while his body has been sent off to a "private lab."

So picture this: Michael Jackson, the greatest showman on earth, launches his new world tour with millions of fans watching this weekend. The show, er, memorial service begins with a white glove sliding off the top of the casket. A group of the living dead struts through the mourners and starts to dance. The music kicks in. Michael Jackson rises from the grave, grabs himself, and moonwalks.

"It's just a thriller, thriller night!"

The crowd, at first stunned, goes wild. They have been played by technology, bamboozled by their faith in the new media. It won't be the last time. Michael Jackson's second act is born, back from the dead. His world tour sells out in minutes. Even PT Barnum would be impressed.

I'm just saying. You can't believe everything you read. Especially online.