Sunday Night Football: Saturday Night Live

The sign of a good parody is you can't stop thinking about it whenever you watch the original show it's parodying. For me, that has made this gem from SNL a few weeks ago (hosted by Jane Lynch) worth posting. It literally gets in my head when I just hear someone mention Sunday Night Football on NBC (especially that nacho recipe). It's not the SNL of my youth (Dana Carvey, Mike Myers, Phil Hartman, Kevin Neelon, Jon Lovitz, Dennis Miller, Adam Sandler, David Spade, Chris Farley, and Norm McDonald - wow, what a cast), but it's the best they've managed in at least a few years.

I've also posted the original theme song below from NBC football by Faith Hill, just in case you never realized how ridiculous it is.

President Spent All of Three Hours Touring Louisiana Disaster, Left Early to Shoot Hoops

Frankly, I'm surprised it wasn't listed on his itinerary as a pretty good photo-op. Here's a look at the president's travel schedule released by the White House:

Heck, I spent more time in Austin traffic on Friday than the president spent touring the oil spill and trying to find solutions for cleaning-up the coast of Louisiana. But he wants you to know it's all he thinks about when he goes to bed and the first thing he focuses on when he wakes up. Since day one. Right. This is turning into something worse than Katrina.

Powerline has the full details, including a report he spent the morning playing basketball upon arriving home. This comes the same week Obama skipped a memorial service for the 11 men who were killed in the oil rig explosion to instead attend a fundraiser for "Don't call me ma'am" Barbara Boxer. I don't know about you, but I'm running out of words to describe this man's narcissism.

Obama Makes JW's "Ten Most Wanted Corrupt Politicians" List

No surprise here. The president has brought the Chicago Way to Washington, with less transparency and more closed door meetings and secret deals than ever before. It's been a long, sad year of passing bad legislation by buying senators' and representatives' votes. On top of that, you have the Fauxbama attacking and demonizing private companies and investors, not to mention the watchdog media and conservative critics, while working to line the pockets of his Democratic firends and allies. The One has spent us into oblivion, growing corrupt government agencies while the private sector and small businesses suffer. He finished the year by vacationing in an expensive Hawaiian villa while 1 in 6 Americans is out of work.

Here's what Judicial Watch had to say about President Obama's "change":

President Obama boldly proclaimed that "transparency and the rule of law will be the touchstones of this presidency," but his administration is addicted to secrecy, stonewalling far too many of Judicial Watch's Freedom of Information Act requests and is refusing to make public White House visitor logs as federal law requires. The Obama administration turned the National Endowment of the Arts (as well as the agency that runs the AmeriCorps program) into propaganda machines, using tax dollars to persuade "artists" to promote the Obama agenda. According to documents uncovered by Judicial Watch, the idea emerged as a direct result of the Obama campaign and enjoyed White House approval and participation. President Obama has installed a record number of "czars" in positions of power. Too many of these individuals are leftist radicals who answer to no one but the president. And too many of the czars are not subject to Senate confirmation (which raises serious constitutional questions). Under the President’s bailout schemes, the federal government continues to appropriate or control -- through fiat and threats -- large sectors of the private economy, prompting conservative columnist George Will to write: “The administration's central activity -- the political allocation of wealth and opportunity -- is not merely susceptible to corruption, it is corruption.”

Nine of the ten spots were occupied by Democrats, including Senate Banking Chair Chris Dodd (D-Conn). But if you think Judical Watch is a partisan attack machine, think again. Last year 4 Republicans made the list.

Lost hope yet?

Silent Night, Obama Night (A Christmas carol for the new messiah)

When the Democrats and crazy progressives are finished passing their "gift" to the American people on the floor of the US Senate come Christmas Eve, a promise to intrude into our personal lives and regulate individual behavior forever while confiscating even more of our wealth, remember to sing it loud and sing it proud. We're all socialists now! All hail the mighty new messiah!

Silent night, Obama night

Reid holds vote to slash your rights

Pay your taxes to abort a child

Holy Senate spends money like wild

Sleep in bureaucratic peace

We've rationed your health care

So rest forever in peace.

Silent night, bribery at night

Americans quake at the sight

Glorious gifts for Dodd and Landrieu

Nelson is singing Alleluia!

Obama's the Saviour its sworn

But the Constitution's been torn.

Silent night, liberty's fight

2000 page bill is tyranny-lite

Radiant beams from lobbyists' face

Premiums to rise at a record pace

Jesus, what have we done?

We shouldn't have elected The One.

Yes, it's truly come to this. Obama can't handle being upstaged even by Christ, so he's going to make himself the focal point of Christmas weekend. I'm holding out for a miracle, but if this monstrosity goes through I'm afraid 2010 is going to be a depressing year. Pass the eggnog.

Michael Moore is a Capitalist Pig

If there's a bigger farce in the world of "documentary filmmaking", I can't think of one. Millionaire Michael Moore making a movie bashing capitalism is like Jacques Cousteau making a film bashing SCUBA diving. It's like Steven Spielberg making a film against film. It's like Barack Obama apologizing for America's "horrible" past (a country so horrible we elected him, mind you) and then trying to convince the world to send us the Olympics.

Where did you get your millions from, Michael? Making documentary films for the BBC about the entomology of stag beetles? Filming travelogues for Siberia? Not hardly. There's a reason you never see a fat documentary filmmaker in China. It's called the free enterprise system, something China lacks. The only country where a self-righteous, fat, screaming, egotistical loudmouth without any other talent can rise above mediocrity and get filthy rich is the United States of America. So be glad you were born in the land of opportunity.

Yep, there's nothing like a millionaire charging everyday Americans $12 to see how they are being ripped off by millionaires. I wouldn't be surprised if I stopped in at Burger King on the way to the theater and saw them promoting "Capitalism: A Love Story" travel mugs. Collect all four!

Michael Moore is a capitalist pig, the biggest hypocrite of all. And if you don't believe me, just visit one of the lovely online stores where he sells his overpriced wares.


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If His Ego Was Any Bigger, He'd be Kanye

When the president called out Kanye West for being a jackass, was his conscience calling out his own ego? One has to wonder after Obama addressed the United Nations yesterday. Let's hope he never does this again, because the president sounded like a boastful child who thought the world started the day he was born. Or at least thought America started to be a real country once he took office.

Oddly enough, the despots and dictators in the room ate it up, because finally here was an American president who spoke their egotistical language. As Paul Mirengoff writes at Powerline:

Conservative commentary on President Obama's U.N. speech has correctly taken note of the extent to which Obama once again has apologized for America. What struck me as new, though, was extent to which he begged his audience to award the U.S. brownie points for his good acts. The one form of supplication follows from the other. Obama isn't just saying that the U.S. has been a bad boy in the past; he's also saying that we're a good boy now:

We know the future will be forged by deeds and not simply words. Speeches alone will not solve our problems -- it will take persistent action. For those who question the character and cause of my nation, I ask you to look at the concrete actions we have taken in just nine months.

Obama then listed a series of decisions that he hoped might placate the assembled thugs, dictators, and hypcrites -- a crowd from which he feels compelled to seek approval on behalf of the United States. Obama noted that he has banned torture, closed Gitmo, moved to end the war in Iraq, moved towards disarmament, attempted to advance the ball on creating a Palestinian state, "re-engaged the United Nations, paid our bills, joined the Human Rights Council."

So here was the president of the United States doing everything but getting down on his hands and knees before the representatives of every wretched regime in the world to plead that the U.S. has turned over a new leaf and, in effect, become harmless.

Obama got on his hands and knees for the rest of the world alright, but I can't describe what he was doing without resorting to colorful language. Let's just say Monica Lewinsky got more out of it.

Rep. John Conyers: Reading is Fundamental?

Someone needs to send the Michigan Democrat Hooked on Phonics. Because after passing the trillion dollar, 1000 page stimulus bill less than 48 hours after it was written, after passing crap-and-trade legislation without so much as seeing a copy of last-minute changes, John Conyers (D-Mich) is ready to vote for state-controlled health care reform without reading it either. And I'm sure he's not alone.

“I love these members, they get up and say, ‘Read the bill!'... What good is reading the bill if it’s a thousand pages and you don’t have two days and two lawyers to find out what it means," John Conyers (D-Mich) told the National Press Club.

Hey, what else do you expect from a statist? All a liberal Democrat in Washington has to hear is that the bill will put the government in control of more wealth. That's it. Case closed. They're the elites, they know best, now just hurry up and sign your life over to Big Brother.

When it fails, just like the stimulus, Mr. Conyers will offer a myriad of excuses and point his finger at anyone who got wealthy during this time. Even if it happens as a result of special-interest-giveaways that he voted for. It's the same as Barney Frank's response to blowing regulation of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, not to mention oversight of the TARP funds. Ramble like an idiot, blame the private sector, and hope the Soros-funded political machine shows up to assassinate the character of your critics and turn the union cogs come election day.

It's not a far fall for an empire once the lawyers and lobbyists can write the bills for the people's representatives without them caring what's in the legislation. Talk about dereliction of duty. Of course, we already know that Rep. Conyers' wife is a crook.

Hat tip: David Hinz at The Minority Report.