Forget the Man Cave, Meet the Mom Cave!

This is the kind of insight you only gain while waiting to microwave your shrink-wrapped danish at a Howard Johnson as part of their complimentary breakfast. USA Today's Lead Paragraph of the Year perhaps?

When life gets stressful for Mary Kammerer, she retreats into a spare bedroom in her house. She lights candles or burns incense, listens to meditation music — sometimes she talks to her mom, whose ashes she keeps in the room.

She doesn't allow any interruptions. Her husband and pets know to stay away and she leaves her cellphone in the other room. She lies on the air mattress, closes her eyes and lets the music take her to a place where only she lives.

If my wife had a room where she talked to my dead mother-in-law, I'd steer clear, too. Coincidentally, Lily Tomlin plays the mother in the vase and you'll never believe the hilarity that ensues when she accidentally gets dumped on Steve Martin.

But wait, there's more:

"It puts me in a whole new world, where I can relax," said Kammerer, 51, of Rockledge, Fla., who works for Bridges, a community organization for people with special needs. She goes into the room two or three times a week for an hour, more if she is stressed. "It's better than a bubble bath."

 The tricky part is febrezing the stink of reefer out of the room.

For years, men have retreated to their "man caves" to watch sports, play video games or shoot pool without their wives or girlfriends around to bother them. Women who needed time alone had the kitchen, a place associated more with work than relaxation. It's now the social center in the home, so there's no privacy there. But these days, women are chiseling out their own sanctuary, taking over a room, nook or even a closet and making it their "mom cave."

HomeGoods has even made it part of their marketing campaign, laying out the essentials of every mom cave (mom jeans optional). Someone tell Mrs. Kammerer she's doing it wrong. The whole house is supposed to be a mom cave. After all, isn't the origin of the "man cave" a place to escape the delicate touch of a female that has overtaken the rest of the house?

Video: Radical Christian w/ Fetish for Founding Fathers Uses "Negro" Repeatedly at Tea Party Like Event

You might have heard of him. Someone alert the race-baiters at MSNBC.

Amazing how we sometimes think we know what we don't know. I hope watching and listening to this will blow some of the assumptions and prejudices of the Left out of the water. I hope, but I'm not holding my breath. Dr. King's fight was a fight with its roots firmly planted in Judeo-Christian principles of freedom and justice. These were the same principles that guided our founders when they wrote the Declaration of Independence. The desire of progressives to walk away from both of these, their continued effort to look past God and the Constitution, to dismiss these values as antiquated and move toward some new sort of agnostic/atheist socialism is a road to perdition.

Martin Luther King had a dream, but it was the dream of America's founders, of Christians, and of a large majority of the individuals who make up today's tea party - not the modern progressive.

Photo (and Caption) of the Year

Sink Hole de Mayo.

Because it happened in Guatemala. That's bilingual humor. Thank you, I'll be here all week.

In all seriousness, my thoughts and prayers are with the Guatemalan people and my sister and her husband as they head down to provide aid with their church.

Oh Brother: White House Using Fake Eco-Eggs for Easter

And here I thought regular eggs were eco-friendly. You know, the ones found in nature and originally created by God - unless he created the chicken first (which is always open for debate). Fake Easter eggs for a fake Messiah. Almost seems appropriate.

The White House announcement Monday said that the eggs at this year's April 5 roll will be made from paperboard that contains no wood fibers from endangered forests, is recyclable and features vegetable oil-based inks and a water-based coating. They'll come in purple, pink, green, and yellow.

They will also surely disappoint every kid in America. Unless your child is the sad tyke that dreams of finding paperboard eggs with absolutely no wood fiber. Ah, but what child among us can resist the pleasures of recycling? Once again, the joyful nature of youth is being outlawed by whining, self-righteous do gooders. But wait. There's a theme:

This year's theme for the roll is "Ready, set, go!" (really... someone got paid for that?) and part of Mrs. Obama's plan to promote health and wellness in the United States and combat childhood obesity.

No word yet on whether Michelle Obama plans to replace the traditional Easter chocolate with fruits and vegetables from her garden, but I'm willing to bet the first lady is the same type of parent who doesn't hand out candy on Halloween.

As the Jawa Report puts it, in the age of Obama even chickens are being laid off. Oh well. At least it's a step up from the Mao Christmas ornaments.

Hat tip: Moonbattery

Facebook Shuts Down Page Dedicated to "Philosophy of Joe Stack"

Apparently that manifesto resonated with quite a few people. How else do you explain this group formed on Facebook one day after Stack flew his plane into a building housing offices for the IRS?

The group said they didn't support Stack's actions, just his philosophy. To which I can only ask, philosophy? What philosophy? The manifesto started out as a reasonable history of his tax problems before turning into a bitter rant against every institution in America. Politicians. Check. Health Care. Check. Tax Code. Check. Capitalism. Check. Accountants. Check. Corporate Greed. Check. Religion. Check.

Who exactly did Stack leave out? It's hard to tell what side of the aisle he's on, or whether his philosophy leans towards smaller government or bigger government. That's why the fact that some on the Left have tried to use this incident to paint him as a "teabagger" or supporter of the tea party movement is so egregious and dishonest. He never belonged to any such group. Stack seems to be maddest at the IRS, and let's face it, they have the most power of any federal agency. They are the only group I know of that puts the burden of proof on the accused and says prove you're not guilty, instead of the other way around. But in Stack's case, the attack was a personal vendetta stemming from his own tax troubles, not a broad attack on government. The IRS office he attacked wasn't even the biggest IRS office in Austin.

It's also clear that Stack is no fan of free enterprise. He seems to despise anyone who made more money than him and/or received tax credits that he didn't qualify for, from organized religion to corporations. In fact, he finishes his manifesto with the following phrases:

"The communist creed: From each according to his ability, to each according to his need. The capitalist creed: From each according to his gullibility, to each according to his greed."

I can't say the man was a Communist, but he seemed to favor Marxism to our current system. And like many Marxists, he turned to violence, failing to see a morality beyond his own judgments. For the Communist, Life is less precious than the grand ideal of a utopian world where the workers "own" everything and private property doesn't exist. Yet something seems backwards about an independent contractor who owned a house and a plane bashing the system that allowed him to gain such wealth.

Facebook was right to shut this group down. Though there might be kernels of truth that many can relate to in Stack's ramblings, the overall philosophy seemed to be nothing more than "I am right. Everyone else is wrong." In other words, the delusions of a mad man.

Top Ten Worst Top Ten Lists of 2009

Tis the season for every yokel with a blog or a column to engage in the pompous ritual of making an end of year or decade list. Me included. Here are some of the lamest lists I've encountered thus far:

10. Top Ten Animal Stories of the Year (Time)
Because animals are a core demographic coveted by high dollar advertisers.

9. Top Ten Movies That Almost Made my Top Ten List (San Fran Chronicle)
Some people might call this a top twenty. I call it indecisive.

8. Top Ten Canadian Foods (Crave Online)
Canada apparently has its own cuisine. Who knew?

7. Top Ten Astronomy Pictures (Discover)
They've got one of Orion taking off his belt.

6. Top Twenty iPhone Apps (Wired)
Also known as top twenty ways to ignore everyone in the room.

5. Top Ten Poker Events of the Decade: Part 1 (pokernewsdaily.com)
Here's betting their definition of "event" is a little more lax than yours or mine.

4. Top Ten Marriage Blogs (themarryblogger)
Slightly less salacious than the singles blogs I visit.

3. Top Ten Political Tweets (Politico)
Almost as exciting as a Palin facebook post.

2. Top Ten Transportation Stories of the Decade (Baltimore Sun)
Six of these are still under construction. The other four made last decade's list.

1. Michelle Obama's Top Ten Looks (Examiner)

Maybe those astronomy pics aren't so bad after all. How else do you explain this?

Raisin Awareness

From the "what were they thinking" file, Sun-Maid has given the California raisin girl a makeover. Actually, it's more like full fledged plastic surgery. What could be more California than that? The new Sun-Maid girl looks like she came straight out of central casting for Entourage. She's slimmer and sexier, with a look that can only be described as Amish Barbie. Are those raisins looking perkier or is it just me? No word yet on whether the company plans to change the name from Sun-Maid to Sun-Laid, but one thing's apparent. Sex not only sells booze, jeans, cars, cigarettes, and male performance enhancers. Sex now sells raisins. Who knew?

The World Has Gone Mad (but Let's Not Jump to Conclusions)

A known white supremacist went on a shooting spree in a predominantly minority neighborhood on Sunday, wounding several people before police were able to apprehend him. The shooter, Eddie Ray Charles, a 40 year old white male, drove a Ford F-150 pick-up truck with a bumper sticker that said "Sportsmen for Hunting Obama" and was often overheard using racial epithets and threatening "to kill the n**gers and Jews ruining this country." He had talked favorably about the "good ole days of America when the KKK was in charge" and was a known blogger on several racially charged websites, including Fox News. Authorities raided his residence and seized a computer, but couldn't point to any motive for the shooting.

"We are completely perplexed," said Detective Dee Versity, one of the first officers to arrive on the scene.

Neighbors described Charles as a private man who sometimes attended neighborhood functions, finding it awkward when he would chant "white power" at little league games or refuse to be photographed with minorities. One time he stormed out of a children's birthday party because a pinata was present. His brother, Sonny Ray, said his sibling complained that he was often teased for his views, that people would call him "Ray Charles" to make fun of the name he shared with the legendary African-American musician. And the fact that he was legally blind.

"He called me a wetback several times and I'm Welsh-Irish," said pizza delivery boy Colin Jones. "But I never gave him back correct change so I guess we're even."

A police report from earlier this year noted that Eddie Ray's truck had been keyed, and someone removed a confederate flag decal from his windshield. Whether such incessant teasing and intolerance could have played a role in pushing Charles over the edge is anyone's guess.

"It could have been anything really," a psychologist at the nearby university told reporters. "What's important is we don't jump to conclusions. Maybe his belief in exterminating nonwhites to form a purer race had something to do with this and maybe not. Who knows for sure?"

Wayne Casper, a spokesman for the Aryan Nations, reiterated the peaceful nature of his group. "There are a lot of white supremacists who are able to hate without resorting to violence," Casper told only the white reporters in the room. "It would be unfair to indict our beliefs on the basis of one nutty guy's actions, who none of us has certainly met."

Co-workers mentioned how tense Eddie Ray Charles had been at work lately, especially since coming under the supervision of a new boss, who happened to be Jewish, although non-practicing. Job related stress is responsible for $26 billion in medical and disability payments, with lost productivity from stress estimated at $95 billion. Could it have played a factor in the deadly shooting?

"We may never know what the motive was or who the real victim is here," one local was heard saying.

It's a trend that seems to be catching on. The past two months have seen a record number of hung juries around the nation, as people are hesitant to make judgments that may not be politically correct.

"People are realizing how difficult it is to try and draw conclusions of any kind," explained Paul Svengali, a Democratic strategist. "And if you do, you don't want those conclusions to be to the detriment of anyone, real or perceived. That's one thing this president and his law enforcement officials have been cognisant of, not acting rashly, or sometimes not acting at all. What's the best course? Maybe no course. Maybe just deliberate longer and people will forget about it."

In a related story, police are trying to determine whether alcohol played a role in a drunk driving accident yesterday morning in which the driver who ran a stop sign was said to have a .19 blood alcohol level.

It's Come to This: British Men Gain Right to 6 Month Maternity Leave

Give them an inch, and they take the whole mile. That's the thing about socialist, nanny-state, entitlement programs. Once people get used to them, not only are they impossible to stop, but they never seem to be satisfactory enough. The underachieving citizens and bureaucrats that depend on them only want more, more, more. Case in point: the UK has been extending maternity leave since the 1980s, from a few weeks to a few months to an entire year. And now, they've really outdone themselves. Starting in 2011, maternity leave will be available to men.

This is supposed to be a solution to the suddenly stagnant job market for women, given that companies that depend on profits are hardly eager to add an unsustainable number of fertile loins to the payroll. After all, why pay two employees to do the job of one, especially when one won't be making a trip to the office for the next 39 to 52 weeks. On the bright side, it probably discourages office affairs.

I suppose there's nothing like collecting a paycheck to do what you're supposed to do anyway. If we're going to have paid mums, might as well have paid dads, paid husbands, paid wives, and even paid dogs. Why just think of the havoc that could be caused by wild animals roaming the streets? Better lobby the government for a check for keeping a pet. Perhaps you'll be eligible for maternity leave when your cat has kittens.

Give men paid maternity leave and that should end the sexual discrimination in hiring. Or so the thinking goes. Maybe companies will just start hiring gay men or singles who don't want kids. Maybe it will come up on the job application or maybe they'll just interview those clearly past their childbearing years. At this point, it's all insanity. But what politician wants to risk suggesting an entitlement cut and being labeled anti-family? Even though such regulations are killing the economy, which is never good for the family budget.

Anyway, I present to you, in honor of the Emmys, our own season premiere of THE SOCIALIST OFFICE:

WORKER: I don't know if you remember, but I'm a dad now.

BOSS: Yeah, congratulations. How is little Brady?

WORKER: Brodie. And he's great. Almost six months old. So great in fact that my wife is talking about going back to work.

BOSS: Good for her. No need to milk that maternity leave for the full 12 months. It's excessive. It's a burden to the company. It's taking advantage of the situation. It's completely self-absorbed.

WORKER: Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about.

BOSS: What?

WORKER: With her going back to work, someone needs to be with the baby. So I'll be taking my maternity leave now. The full six months allowed by law.

BOSS: Six months? Are you insane? We just signed that new account.

WORKER: Yeah, I know but dividing parenting time equally is Gwyn and mine's number one priority. That and making sure Brodie's diet is completely organic.

BOSS: Is breast milk not completely organic?

WORKER: Usually. It depends on what my wife eats. Anyway, keep my office clean and my desk warm and that paycheck coming for the next 12 weeks. I'll be back to catch up in July.

BOSS: July? We could be bankrupt by then, given this recession.

WORKER: Well, you can't blame me then, can you? God save the Welfare Queen.

Sadly, there are people pining for such a progressive policy here in the U.S., like this writer at Salon. Beware those feel-good, European entitlement programs.

Please Take Advantage of the Chambermaid

If there's one thing we need more of during the narcissistic Obama administration, it's laughs. This short article from the Telegraph exposing poorly translated signs provides just that. Although frankly, I know a few restaurants and American establishments that could do some good by posting the above warning. Click on the link below for more examples of head-scratching signs in non-English speaking countries.

CLUMSY TRANSLATIONS ABROAD LEAVE BRITS CONFUSED

Raving Mad, Right-Wing Extremist's Shocking Protest Sign!

If it ain't broke, don't break it.

Now that's what I call patriotic. Beats comparisons to Hitler. And its enough food for thought to allow the statist/big government Democrat an opportunity to make a fool of themselves with a rebuttal. Just don't look for meaningful debate. Barney Frank and Obama have already given their stock answer, "Bush Did It!"

Yeah, flimsy. Too bad these are all government programs started by Democrats. How did Einstein define insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Of course, Obama thinks he's smarter than Einstein.

Hat tip: Charlie Foxtrot.

Headline of the Year!

CANADIAN MOUNTIES BREAK UP ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION DRUG RING

A little humor to break up all the health care talk. Although technically, this brings up more questions about single-payer systems and socialized medicine. If the system in Canada is so much better, why is there a market for counterfeit prescription drugs? Surely they're not rationing. No wonder Canadian birth rates are down (as they are in almost all European-style, socialist nanny states).

There's a joke here somewhere about a sore horse's ass, but I won't go there. Whoops, I think I just did. Exit question: has Brendan Fraser ever starred in a good movie?