(with inspiration from the twittersphere)
10. Now taking union bribes... er, bids.
9. By the same folks who brought you Amtrak.
8. Yes, we'll still find a way to lose your bags.
7. No caboose left behind.
6. Safer than traveling by that other great 19th century invention, the blimp.
5. Biden loves choo choos!
4. When someone hijacks your train, at least they can't take you to Tehran.
3. Saul Alinsky Presents Rails for Radicals
2. Two Words: Pickaxe Ready
1. When it comes to the economy, we've got tunnel vision!