Joe Biden Surrenders American Leadership to Brussels

Mess with Joe. Seriously. Go ahead. It's not a big f*cking deal. He's likely to retaliate by kissing up to every nation he's unsure Barack Obama has issued an apology to. The veep did just that in a recent speech to the European Parliament, doing his best to imitate Obama's rhetoric from Berlin and praising the European Union for their contribution to freedom and democracy by calling Brussels "the capital of the free world."

Here's what the vice-president had to say:

"As you already know, ladies and gentlemen, not only am I pleased to be back here in Brussels for the second time as Vice President — as you probably know, some American politicians and American journalists refer to Washington, DC as the “capital of the free world.” But it seems to me that this great city, which boasts 1,000 years of history and which serves as the capital of Belgium, the home of the European Union, and the headquarters for NATO, this city has its own legitimate claim to that title."

Calling Brussels the "capital of bankrupt nanny states" would have been a lot closer to the truth, but I'm sure it looks like freedom to this intrusive, Marxist-loving administration. Sure, there's no constitutionally protected free speech or right to bear arms and the European Parliament is not a true representative government. As far as what nations Belgium liberated, I can't list them off the top of my head. But why split hairs?

I believe China boasts even more thousands of years of history than Brussels, so perhaps the vice-president can praise Beijing as well. We're already pretending our human rights record is the same as theirs. Biden then added this profound statement:

"We welcome that... to help us tackle the problems of the 21st century, many of which are the same but so many are different than the last century."

Awesome. The country is in such good hands.