How to Be a Liberal Activist (In 10 Easy Steps)

1) Find a grave injustice:

Can you claim the grave injustice affects a minority group to a greater extent than the general population? If not, pick again.

Is the grave injustice a result of the government taking away an individual's property or personal freedom? If so, pick again. 

2) Now that you've found your grave injustice, you will become a spokesperson for this group. Call attention to these once-proud individuals as victims. They are helpless without you.

3) Set up a commission or organization to study why this group has been victimized. Don't forget to include a salary and pension for yourself.

4) Find and publish the cause of said injustice - lack of funding. NOTE: The solution is always "more funding."

5) Suggest someone else pay to fix it. Go to the government.

6) Ask the government to fund a program for the victims. A couple hundred million dollars will do at this point. 

7) Watch your organization grow while the grave injustice fails to improve. Clearly, the solution is "more money". Ask for additional funding. Include a raise for yourself and a budget for nicer office digs. When the government points out that they are $15 trillion in debt, suggest raising taxes.

8) Defend your right to exist at all costs. If a fiscally minded conservative suggests cuts to your program (cuts being not actual cuts, but simply a refusal to increase funding), call them extremists who want to kill the poor and elderly. No matter how outrageous your claim sounds, it will be treated as reasonable by the mainstream media.

9) Watch injustice get worse despite success of funding by government. Start to use financial windfall to support candidates who promise you more money. For your victims, of course.

10) Repeat ad nauseam until the people wake up.