Shocker: Ricky Martin Reveals He's Puerto Rican

I know what you're thinking. Ricky Who? Apparently, he was a pop star in the 1990s. Today, the former teen idol relinquished his dream of ever recording another relevant hit song and decided instead to return to the spotlight and make his first headlines in decades by coming out as a Puerto Rican. Here's what Ricardo wrote on his official website, which I visit weekly.


"Mucha gente me dijo que no era importante hacerlo, que no valía la pena, que todo lo que trabaje y todo lo que había logrado se colapsaría. Que muchos en este mundo no estarían preparados para aceptar mi verdad, mi naturaleza. Y como  estos consejos venían de personas que amo con locura, decidí seguir adelante con mi "casi verdad". MUY MAL. Dejarme seducir por el miedo fue un verdadero sabotaje a mi vida. Hoy me responsabilizo por completo de todas mis decisiones, y de todas mis accione."


Wow. Now if that doesn't take courage, I don't know the definition of courage. And the definition I know has always been "shameless self-promotion by B-level talent." I can only imagine how courageous this statement would seem if I actually understood Spanish. Although frankly, I'm surprised no one figured out Ricky's secret earlier considering his accent, flair for the dramatic, and rhythmic hip-shaking skills.


Oh good, here's the English translation:

"Many people told me: "Ricky it's not important", "it's not worth it", "all the years you've worked and everything you've built will collapse", "many people in the world are not ready to accept your truth, your reality, your nature". Because all this advice came from people who I love dearly, I decided to move on with my life not sharing with the world my entire truth.  Allowing myself to be seduced by fear and insecurity became a self-fulfilling prophecy of sabotage. Today I take full responsibility for my decisions and my actions. These years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within, and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn't even know that existed."

That's one small step for Ricky, one giant leap for Menudo. May Puerto Ricans everywhere celebrate this shining moment in history. There's no reason to feel shame anymore for the incalculable damage done by Jennifer Lopez.


Mr. Martin also reminded everyone at the end of his personal blog that he was "a fortunate homosexual", which of course is hard to forget since Menudo was one of the gayest bands ever. And you thought that go-go dancer at The Open Fly only looked like Ricky Martin.


In what some media watchdogs are calling "Rainbow Monday", two other alternative lifestyle stories made front page news today. Just about 50% of Americans said they would be comfortable with a gay president, to which Hillary responded, "Hey, I gave it my best shot." However, that level of support dipped to 3% when it was revealed the gay president could be Barney Frank.