"Once abolish God and the government becomes the God." -G.K. Chesterton

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Why is Tiger Apologizing to Me?

All is forgiven in America, where almost everyone gets a second chance. Even Mickey Rourke. And so Tiger Woods called a very controlled press conference on Friday to make a statement, apologizing to the American public for his indiscretions. My only question is: why are you apologizing to me?

It's not like he committed a crime, showed up drunk on the course, or gambled on the game. Tiger Woods cheated on his wife. He didn't cheat on me. As far as I'm concerned this is a private matter. Say your apology to her, not us. There's only one reason for giving a mea culpa speech to the general public. Tiger's ready to get back on the golf course, and most likely will play in The Masters.

Let's face it. The PGA needs Tiger. A Masters without Tiger is hard to fathom, sort of like a winter olympics without a gay figure skater or Obama without a teleprompter. So trot out the world's most famous golfer to rehab his image, pronto, so he can start swinging the clubs again. The faster the public forgives Tiger, the faster he can return to the game without fear of a negative reaction. After all, you don't want him teeing off while fans are teeing off on him.

Friday's press conference was strictly a business decision, and a wise one at that. Assuming it worked, the PGA can breathe a sigh of relief. Expect sponsors to follow suit. Once again, Woods will get the chance to display his unquestionable talent... ahem, golf talent... at Amen Corner, or at the latest in the British Open. Hopefully by then, he'll just be facing the gallery, not the gallows.

Whether or not he can keep his zipper closed once he starts winning again, that's a whole different question.

No comments:

Post a Comment